Beyond Words
PEDRO MORALES, M.D. ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR AND OBGYN RESIDENCY PROGRAM COORDINATOR UMKC SCHOOL OF MEDICINE
"Will you be there for my delivery?" the patient asked through the interpreter as the resident cleaned the ultrasound gel from her belly. “I hope so. Your induction is set for next Friday, and I have two more weeks at this hospital,” the resident replied. “Why do you specifically want her to deliver your baby?” I asked the patient. “No offense, but she’s the only doctor who looks at me, not the interpreter, when we talk during my appointments. Her eyes show me she’s happy when I mention Carlitos, my youngest, or concern whenever I admit skipping my insulin,” the patient answered. “I want her to be my doctor because I can see she's listening to me.” We often underestimate how much we rely on non-verbal cues. For those with English as their first language, these cues deepen understanding, connection and trust. But for those of us who don’t speak English natively, these cues are indispensable; without them, it’s easy to completely miss what’s being said. This was the lesson I learned on my first day of residency. My heart was racing as I tried to understand the words coming from the other end of the line. The nurse spoke too fast, or so I thought. I was picking up random words like “she” and “morning” and “hungry,” until I finally could understand a full sentence: “Can she eat?” I replied, “yes” in a knee-jerk reaction. The nurse murmured a rushed thank you and hung up.
It could’ve been worse, but the aftermath of that phone call was definitively not the way I wanted to start my residency. "I am sorry your case had to be canceled," is never the first sentence you want to come out of your mouth when you're meeting an attending for the first time. My English teacher in Nicaragua was right: "You'll know you've mastered English as your second language when you can fully understand a conversation over the phone," he used to say. “It’s hard to gauge reactions when you can’t see the speaker.” That one call made me realize how right he was. Despite many years of learning English, I still relied on non-verbal cues to communicate effectively. That moment made me realize I needed a strategy to safely manage my patients until I could overcome this challenge. I began by memorizing the phone numbers of every nursing station. Instead of returning calls when paged, I would walk down to the station and have face-to-face conversations with the nurses. I needed to “see” what they were saying, to capture those non-verbal cues I had taken for granted. I learned their names, speaking speeds and usual reasons they paged me. It didn’t always go smoothly, but during the initial weeks of residency, I steered clear of phone conversations. What I didn't anticipate was that my communication tactic would bring unexpected results. "You received very positive comments from the nursing staff," my program director noted during my first semi-annual evaluation.
"Many mentioned that you are one of the few residents who truly listen," he explained. My approach of visiting each nursing station when paged originated from my need to fully understand what I was being told. However, I hadn’t realized that I was also sending important cues in return – the nurses were noticing my effort to fully engage. This insight marked a turning point for me. I realized listening alone is not enough; genuine attention and active engagement are crucial for effective communication, particularly when facing a language barrier. So much has changed since then. I no longer shy away from phone conversations, and I take pride in training residents who serve a large non-English speaking population. Yet, that early lesson remains a powerful reminder of how non-verbal cues can transcend language barriers. Over the past decade, the landscape of communication has evolved significantly. Smartphones have been widely adopted, text messaging has become the default mode of communication and virtual meetings have become a means to multitask while seeming engaged. However, COVID-19 taught us that nothing can replace face-to-face interactions. Our brains are naturally attuned to the wide range of non-verbal cues that only real-life encounters provide. With every attentive gaze, smile and nod, we overcome barriers that go beyond mere words and language differences.
Hands of an Apostle
PARKER BOYCE UMKC MEDICAL STUDENT